The whole of May we have been exploring the topic Mentoring and it was interesting to see a lot of questions/discussions/doubts/differences around this topic. What was gratifying for me was the feeling that I got uniformly from all sessions about the importance of the mentoring process, along with the dismay that there simply not enough mentoring and not enough volunteers to mentor!
It is important here to differentiate between coaching and mentoring although there's a school of thought that will disagree and disapprove of my distinction between the two. To me coaching is all about a specific skill - where there's a skill gap or knowledge gap, a coach comes in to fill this gap with his/her expertise in this area. For eg a cricket coach, a tuition master ( I have lots of whining to do about this later in this blog)CAT/IIT coaching centres, etc.An IPL coach now coaches his batsmen on how to sledge the ball over the fence - thats the new cricket as we now see it!
Mentoring is a lot deeper and has got to do with "teaching a man how to fish" versus coaching which is giving a man fish to eat!
Mentoring is all about influencing the "Being" of the person, while "Coaching" is all about the "Doing" of the person.
Coaching can be forced - mentoring cannot. A mentee must "want" to be mentored and a mentor must earn the trust and respect of the mentee without which it just does not work.
While Parenting should ideally be all about mentoring, parents have become coaches of their children with a vengeance! An anxious mother called me the other day and wanted me to suggest some class for her 14 year old who has a little gap in his week which she would like to fill up! Chemistry/Physics/Maths tuition, tennis coaching, karate classes, keyboard classes not to mention early CAT/IIT coaching. Mentoring has been delegated to the "idiot box"!
In this fast paced, quadrant 1 kind of lifestyle, Q2 focus areas like mentoring are disappearing and at this rate we will only groom more and more transactional managers who are "tormentors" of short term results rather than long term people leaders!
Anybody ready to volunteer as mentors? I have enough mentees crying for this kind of guidance!
Hi Naresh,
ReplyDeleteis the difference that you bring out the same as between education & training? (i am recollecting my 1st BPM session :-) )
And if coaching is for doing then how do we coach for behaviour changes, which is more of 'being' changes?
Edward.
Naresh - A great topic and a worh one. I don't claim to be a greta mentor but don't mind trying and sharpen that skills to give back. Same time a suggestion, experts like you could provide a coaching on mentoring for ametuers like me!!
ReplyDelete-Thanks
Babu
I just could not resist the invitation, Naresh.
ReplyDeleteExecutive coaching is not about skills, it is closer to the definition you have shared about mentoring. As per my understanding, a mentor is usually a person who has been there, done that and is now guiding another along that path. However, a coach is not an industry expert. He/She primarily asks the right questions. So a mentor is a mix of a coach and a consultant?
Naresh, pretty interesting.. you had mentioned about volunteers
ReplyDeleteJust thought of sharing this, ( source HBR) "Two ways to get mentoring without mentor"
A mentor is a great resource for career advice, feedback, and help building your skills and capabilities. However, it's not always possible to find one person who has the time or expertise to help you with all of the above. Try these two approaches to getting the mentoring you need:
1.Ask senior leaders for advice. Reach out to a leader you respect for advice or coaching on a specific work challenge. Busy people are more likely to have an hour to spend with you than to be able to commit to a long-term mentoring relationship.
2.Create an input board. Line up a group of colleagues who are willing to give you day-to-day feedback on things like the clarity of a presentation or whether or not you should take an issue to your boss. This type of quick, frequent input can be especially valuable when it comes from a group with diverse backgrounds and perspectives
Thank you Edward,Babu,Hari and Sai for your comments.
ReplyDeleteHari -I think we sorted this out...I like to think of mentoring as coaching and coaching as your mentoring!
Edward - to me influencing being is mentoring and skill building is coaching (Hari doesnt agree because thats the global vocabulary!)
Babu - great - can I announce your availability then in our BPM sessions?
Sai - great ideas - thanks
Naresh
Hi Naresh Uncle, this is a wonderful post! These days, people like me [13-20 year olds] do need someone to mentor us and assure us that we are doing the right things and guide us as well! I'm glad I have you whenever I need you.
ReplyDeleteHi Naresh, can i use the picture you have posted on top for a mentoring group i'm creating on linkedin. please reply on aloqleh@gmail.com
ReplyDelete